got up and started typing
as usual
but today was worse
it was morning sun but it started to get dark
I kept typing
looked out the window saw growing darkness threads wads
I kept typing
the light went on in my head
it’s not my fault I started it all
it was getting harder to see
typing
darkness spreading engulfing the view the world the universe
swallowing it up like before the beginning
typing
it’s me why me
my fault I did it did it all
I created this universe
that can’t be right the universe came before I was even born
out of the same womb the womb of creation the womb of time
living womb of life
womb for all of us
so why am I to blame
typing
everything’s dark I can’t see the darkness is getting thicker soon
I won’t be able to move even my fingers
typing
the invisible keyboard
and it’s not just me I decided long ago that solipsism is just a word I reject
even if it exists beyond the word I say no by choice
I keep typing
I hold on to myself in the darkness still searching for the reasons I can live
by choice the simplest basic
I try to stop thinking
I know what I can’t see the darkness
has seeped under the door and fills the room
I think everything at once
the darkness is kind because it keeps me from seeing the horror
of the world in the light of day revealed
but the light is kind because it’s warm and lets me see beyond the darkness
but right now it’s dark and I hear voices
voices of pain “Make it stop!”
“If it’s to end, let it end quickly”
my empathetic fingers reach for
the keyboard to type the controlling word
I start to type now to end it all in mercy but
my fingers stop at no
everything stops in waiting
my fingers tell me no to bad is yes to good
I know it’s in the no-ing
no to wrong is yes to right
there’s always choice
I type in capitals
NO
the darkness clears
I get up
I grab my coffee cup
milk dilutes the darkness at the bottom
I drink the resolution
I’ve got to stop watching before sleep
those dystopian movies they call the broadcast news
I step outside and
sing hosanna to the sun