Heading North Reading Signs

always dangerous to read the signs

because

you know

if you’re literal

they can always mean

something else

going through town

sign says

Stop

ahead

and you stop

and look for the head

and then you notice

felicitous juxtaposition

the sign for Massage

right next to the Body Shop

and then you get on

the freeway

they say nothing is free

and the sign says

Macdonald

and you don’t know

if it’s a street

or fast food

and you drive under

San Pablo

and everyone

in the car

shouts together

every time

the sign second half

“Dam Road!”

and the comfortable chuckle

the old can always

be new again

a big billboard

on the right

Suffering from

a spelled out disease?

and the man shown tall

smiling broadly

and everywhere you look

there’s something

and you realize again

as you always do

life is good

if you read the signs right

we all have our lists
I write some down
my job
is to get you started
you keep it going
my job is done

I look out the car window
there’s water where there wasn’t
I hear the lake
has suddenly come back
and there it is
spreading out
engulfing the present
in the remembered past
they talk about
the balance of nature
and I see nature
writhing in pain
trying to find
a new balance

I love myself so much
I want to share
the knowing
you can do it too
and we can love each other
as they say we should

my notebook’s open

on my lap

my pen held ready

to catch the words

as they fly by

the back seat of the car

until it’s my turn to drive

I keep my notebook open

how odd I think
a field of palm trees
without trunks
the tops resting on
springing from
the ground
as if the earth
suddenly rose
and swallowed up
whatever came between
the bottom and the top
nothing in between

Mountains on the left
where do they come from
I know the earth twists
turning in its sleep
then things settle down
but only for a while

I rustle the pages
turning to next
those in the front seat
they hear me while driving
they know that I’m writing
but don’t know what comes next

California’s a Big State

it’s got everything

and more

people and economy

and wonders

I love it

I can’t stop wishing

the whole country

which I also love

would balance out

the tyranny against democracy

so all of us could live

happy together as we should

I can’t keep up with myself
I sit and write
days ahead in hours
waiting for the time
I get out of the back seat
come to the front
to do my share of the driving

I look to the road
off to the right
the cars flashing back and forth
like shuttles
I’ve written that before

they’re burning the rice paddies

after harvest

cheapest way to clear

the smoke fills the air

I breathe less

there ought to be a law

maybe is

the old ways

are  better for the earth

the stalks left standing

until you stomp them down

nourishing re-growth

the birds love the old way

duck hunters love it too

and I keep eating rice

wondering if

I can taste the smoke

the sign says
Food Center
as I pass by
I feel concentric
as I always do
my whole life
circling around somehow
a center I can’t see
and have passed by

the philosophy of every day

is enough

not that I couldn’t

and didn’t

though not enough

to think deep

until the head hurts

because I think

I already know

I otherwise would be

standing looking

as the words so often tell me

at the nothing that is not there

and the nothing that is

I keep thinking until
something tells me
to give it a rest
I’m still riding north
in the back seat
I see the sign
Rest Area Ahead
I think
maybe
I’ll give it a try

I see the water spreading out
on both sides
that recovering lake again
coming back
from a distant past
to reclaim the land
we’ve built over
because we don’t remember
and I wonder if there’s menace
somehow the earth vindictive
to take back itself
to the time when we weren’t there
and we’ve been heedless
but the earth remembers

cop on the road
parked on the right
waiting
everybody slows down
speed trap
and I think
we all got the message
so we really can learn
after all

sign on the truck
do not pass
on the right
and I wish yet again
that everybody could read

flock of birds

on the right

maybe thousands this time

flying over

excited by

the new water

where neither was before

something’s happening

to the earth

I don’t quite know

what it is

I’m afraid because

the excitement may be theirs alone

they’re from that time before

where we don’t

but they

belong

there are the rows of orchards
as we pass by
Highway 5 North
but so many roads
so many ways
so many crops
the same
that Central Valley
and California feeds the nation
and the sign
Newsome stop wasting our water
posted by farmers
clutching for profit
agriculture forced
beyond nature
to produce
and back home we go
to our markets
and wonder why
the food has lost its essence
and flavor
is only memory

ahead
there are mountains
we can see the snow
magnificent
as we drive closer
we can see them more
we think
there still can be snow
and try to forget
the glaciers already gone

we drive by
gas stations posting signs
flaunting dueling prices
all too high
but somewhere
we have to stop
for fuel
because one tank
can’t get us
all the way

Stopped for lunch at the Olive Pit

never knew about

my Daughter did

recommended the choices

1/3 pound burger

glad things are going back

from before the Quarter Pounders

that were the economic rage

supplanting half pound burgers

I’m still waiting for

the two pound burger

good luck on that

dream on

good lunch stopped at

the olive bar where you can try

and free

I tried a few

noticed in the store

jars of Kalamata olives

couldn’t tell from the fine print

that they weren’t from Greece

used to be they always were

I thought the way

Balsamic Vinegar always had to be

by law

from Modena

like an international patent

brand name control

but now I see

the world out of control

in so many directions

what can you count on anymore

walked through the sales rooms

so many aisles rows shelves

bottles jars

I allowed myself again

to think those thoughts of comfort

I’m always looking for

more things to try

than I can get to in a lifetime

more places to go

more books to read

more music to hear

more people to meet

than I can ever

satisfyingly inexhaustible enough

and back to the dining room

tables chairs booths

scattered people

the old guy in the corner

hunched over his food

white hair and beard

his walking stick propped

nearby ready

all looking too much like me

but he was sitting by himself

and across the room

by the window

the old woman

gray hair shaking her head

so many people growing old alone

so lucky I’m not one of them

my chest expands

because my heart  is full

Old Hwy 99
the kindness of Cal Trans
to let us know
the past is still there
paralleling now
reminding us
we can take both

just wrote 24 entries
for my blog backlog
three weeks ahead
I’m still in the backseat
allowed not to drive
because I’m writing
and we’re not
even there yet
who says
I don’t get out enough

the billboard signs
along the way
let you know where you are
advertising the casino
nobody does____
like we do
each billboard
filling in the blank
I only put to hold the place
they fill successively
each nobody does
and I allow myself
to fill in my own attributes
fill in my own blanks
my nobody does what I do
like I do
and the other way
I don’t either

we stop for gas

I reach for my credit card

my Darling Daughter says

no no not this time

you already

paid for lunch

I say

no no

I insist

Behave!

the other voice her husband

from the right front seat

says something like

easier said than done

or a clever remark

that makes me rejoin

that’s right blame the parents

and the voice says

who else?

and I think

how happy go lucky

I am

to be with people

just a little quicker

and only one generation younger

and how the world is

if they’re allowed to hold it

in good hands

gettin’ off the road
stoppin’ for gas
passing by the construction site
both sides behind
the covered fence
so you just don’t know
what or how far along
but this time
the coverings gone
like opened curtains
we see a new
McDonald’s almost ready
yes they really are
everywhere
and a wall just finished
giving a look
at the present building
into the future
on the bones of the past

there it is again
Shasta Lake
spreading every which way
into nooks and crannies
and ravines and almost valleys
going each one to the next
so much water
even now refilling
over the water line
marked on the side rocks
and I
who come from further south
think of our smaller sister lake
a younger child of the lake family
Pyramid Lake
smaller because less water
in the south
above L.A.
but water nonetheless the same
as if flowing beneath the surface
unifying the earth below
while we try to unify
the world above

and there’s a trestle bridge below
we pass by looking down
looks rusty maybe still
used by trains going
north and south
we just can’t tell
from this passing vantage
if the past is with us present
or the present is the past

there are The Crags

I said maybe one day

you said one day what

I said maybe we could go there

you already told me

you said yeah maybe

we can get pretty close up

by car and a short walk

gets us further high

we both mused our way

into a future possible

we could climb together

get even further higher closer