YOU: I’m seventy-seven years old!
ME: You don’t look a day over eighty!

YOU: My kid came home from school hating Trump.
You should teach both sides.
ME: We did.

YOU: I’m right.
ME: You’re wrong.
YOU: I’m wrong?
ME: You’re right.

YOU: I’m never on time.
ME: It’s never too late.

YOU: When is enough enough?
ME: Never. Always.

YOU: Everything’s a lie.
ME: That’s true.

YOU: I can’t stay awake.
ME: Go to sleep.

YOU: I don’t like you.
ME: I don’t either.

YOU: I conspired to get you and Shirley together.
ME: It worked.
YOU: You’re welcome.
ME: Thanks.

YOU: I could be better.
ME: We agree.

YOU: I never say the right thing.
ME: You just did.

YOU: Why?
ME: Why not?

YOU: Is it too late?
ME: Not yet.