I wanted to travel.

The borders were closing all over the world.

I’m American by birth by two parents who were both American citizens by birth.

I wanted to visit Canada. I’d been there before, liked it, wanted to go back.

I had my U.S. Passport, good for a few more years.

I drove up to the border.

There they were, the U.S. Customs Border Guards.

Questions.

“Why do you want to leave the country?”

“I want to travel. I don’t get out much.”

“You realize that once you leave, you might not be able to get back in. Things change fast around here, day to day, hour by hour.”

“I’ll risk it.”

“Cash, check, money order, or Visa?”

“Visa.”

Stamp.

Then I drove to the Canadian border across the street.

“Why do you want to come to Canada?”

“I’ve been here before, liked it. I want to travel. I don’t get out much.”

“Show your Passport.”

Stamp.

“Is there a fee?”

“Canada doesn’t put tariffs on people.”

So I entered the country and drove straight to the Church.

Evangelical Christianity. Born Again.

“I want to be born again, in Canada. Citizenship by birthright.”

“Cash, check, money order, or Visa?”

“Visa.”

Took my Born Again Birth Certificate to the Canadian Passport Office.

“We haven’t decided yet whether we’ll legalize this.”

My turn to say, “Cash, check, money order, or Visa?”

They said, “Cash Canadian, check local bank, international money order, or World Visa.”

I got out my Visa.

They stamped my passport, and I headed back to the U.S. border.

This was my trial run. So far, so good.

I had been inspired by recently watching again Michael Moore’s film, “Canadian Bacon.” 1995. Ahead of its time.

Michael Moore was always on the cutting edge. Often before the edge knew it. Funny but serious. When he jokes, he’s not kidding. His autobiography is titled. “Here Comes Trouble.”

Thirty years ago, and the American President in the movie was considering how to make Canada the 51st State.

If Michael Moore had lived in the old days, I mean the really old days, they would have proclaimed him a Prophet, made him Biblical and put him in the Scriptures.

So I came back to the Canadian Border going the other way.

The Canadians said, “Thanks for leaving.”

The U.S. Border was stern. “You again?” and “Forget something?”

I said, “Yes,” and, “Yes.”

They said, “Pull over and step inside.”

They looked at both Passports and talked behind my back. I couldn’t catch the words.

“Which country do you claim?”

“I’m American! A Proud Californian!”

“Lock him up!”