We went to the Matador Restaurant and I ordered the cojones. That’s bull’s testicles, bull balls. They’re seasonal, not always available.

They’re from the bull ring where the matador befuzzles the bull and then stabs it because it lost, and the bull falls over appropriately dead and everybody cheers and the matador bows and doffs his hat.

They drag the loser off like a carcass and cut it up for food. They eat every part.

The cojones were really good, big and plump and juicy. He was a good bull.

Later we went back to the restaurant and I ordered cojones again.

What a disappointment! They were small and tough and stringy and not very juicy and maybe they changed cooks because they just didn’t taste the same.

I complained and asked the waiter. He leaned over to me conspiratorially and whispered, “Sometimes the bull wins.”