Grandparent Rant at Open House Back-to-School Night

“When I was your age, I was much younger.

“Teachers were old then, mostly women. They made us learn, and we couldn’t get away with anything.

“They had blackboards with chalk. They would write things and we would copy them down.

“We did handwriting. They called it cursive.

“I did my share of cursing about it, but not out loud. That wasn’t allowed.

“These kids nowadays, they don’t know how to write. They can’t even print. And they don’t know the alphabet because they can’t spell. They don’t know all the letters.

“When we were really little, we used to have blocks with letters on them in the early grades. We’d play on the floor and make words. We’d spell out our own name.

“Kids now, they can’t even sign their own name.

“How can they get a license to drive or get married?

“They can’t sign a document. They use a thumb print and have somebody who can write sign by the fingerprint and pretend to know them to say it’s them.

“They got no respect, not even for themselfs. They think they’re their own generation, whatever that is.

“They don’t even know what they want, but they want everything given to them.

“What kind of future can they have? They can’t get a job because there aren’t any.

“Kids are helpless and hopeless. What are you teachin’ ‘em anyway? Why do we send ‘em to school? All they do all day is computers and those little phones. They stare at a screen and punch keys to make up words so we can’t understand ‘em.

“They’re going to ruin their eyesight. They’ll go blind, not for the same reason we got blamed for.

“I’m too old to do your job. We got people now, runnin’ the country, idiots, because you didn’t do your job.

“What the hell! Pardon my French. That’s the only French I know, except for those other words you can’t say in public, but you know what I mean.

“I can still write my own name, but I won’t sign your visitor book because I don’t give my permission.

“You’re supposed to make things better and kids smarter. What do we pay you for? If I knew how to do it I’d keep the kids home and teach ‘em myself. It would have to be me, because their lazy parents are out working to put bread on the table.

“Everything’s fell apart, and look where we are.

“Why, when I was your age, I was even younger than you.”