Some people are so gullible that they don’t even know it.

Fewer have the money to back it up.

I went to this auction. They let me in because I pretended I was from the press. I do have a blog, this one, so I wasn’t lying. Not exactly. Just misleading. Admittedly intentionally.

Anyway, the auction.

This is the auction where last year they were auctioning off an autographed copy of The Bible. They withdrew it because even I didn’t believe it.

This time, somebody with gloves on was holding a tray with the auctioned item prominently displayed for a last look before the bidding started.

It had been given prominence under guard for a full week as prospective buyers flew in from their estates around the world with their entourage and servants and their own private security to examine the item and check the stock market.

The item in question was a pencil, not yet stubby, a lead pencil, number 2, worn down but still with some life left in it, the brand partly visible, some partly worn away from frequent historic use, Dixon.

It was the pencil Jesus used to write the Ten Commandments and the Constitution.

Everybody wanted it.

The bidding was fast and furious.

Even I would have if I had the money.

The bid hovered at $34,000,000.00. A higher bid was withdrawn after a phone call.

Speaking of phone calls, the phone-in bids that had gone into the billions were cancelled after reports in the media about uncertainty regarding authenticity. Apparently the fingerprints and DNA residue were inconclusive. I suspected all along that those reports were a plot to remove the competition.

It looked like it would go to a Sheikh from Saudi Arabia, and it isn’t even his religion.

If I had it, I could write better, like the Hand of God.