“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to welcome our new brother into the Sacred Response.”

“Let him prove himself worthy!”

“Do you, Dear Prospective, promise, swear, and affirm that you will henceforward never think another thought unsanctioned by the Great Leader?”

“I do.”

“And do you sign over all your worldly goods, now and forever, to The Cause?”

“I do, I do.”

“And do you forsake all others, foreign and domestic, who are not of The Faith?”

“I do, I do, I do.”

“And will you renounce the misuse of language, the meaningless words like “freedom” and “truth”?”


“I will, I will, I will.”

“You have been touched by The Leader. You may now wear the cap. Sign on the dotted line. If you are unable to sign your name, a surrogate signer will be assigned to sign for you. Step back, join The Faithful already bowing, scraping, and groveling.”

“In the name of The Almighty, amen.”

“Amen.”