We’re beginning another year, a difficult year, and the best thing I can do is share the joy of my life by telling you about my wonderful beautiful incredible wife.

She fills many of my bog entries. I sent about 200 Christmas cards in 2022, including highlights of her remarkable biography and the notice of her passing on October 24, 2022. Very few came back, some letting me know of others who have passed away. Others prompted return messages like, “I never knew she did so much!”

I’m still learning how important it is to hold on to whatever you can, the memories of those happy days. She and I both loved the world, and I love it now for her, she is with me still as she always will be. I pass her joy of living on to you.

I include one of my favorite pictures of her, to let you know how lucky I was.

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To let you know: Shirley Sterling passed away while in hospice in October 2022.

She led a remarkable life.

She was born in Iowa, on June 24, 1942, and moved as a young girl to California, where her mother, Virginia, remarried to James Kenegos, who became her full-time father from then on. She was shaped by parents from two cultures: her mother from Arkansas, and her stepfather from Athens, Greece. Both parents studied and sang opera, and young Shirley was surrounded by music.

At one time, their neighbors in Los Angeles included the dancers Velez and Yolanda (always on tour) and Mario Di Tulio (of Louise’s family) who wanted to teach her to play the oboe, but “settled” for the piano, though Shirley’s piano ability was mainly self-taught, and she would accompany her mother in lieder and arias.

She attended Virgil Junior High where she started a science club and sang in the choir at large churches in the area and at the Hollywood Bowl.

Shirley entered Mark Keppel High School, in Alhambra, at age 14 in the middle of her Sophomore year, becoming active in Orchesis, Speech and Debate, and National Honor Society. That same year, the family moved to South San Gabriel, and her father opened AltaPas-TV Sales and Service in Altadena.

Shirley met her future husband, Gary Sterling, on her first day at Keppel, introduced in the high school hallway by her Speech Teacher who helped, along with other teachers, to shepherd both of them to the University of California at Riverside when UCR was new and ranked a top undergraduate school in the nation.

She began at UCR as a chemistry major to please her father, quickly changed to the Humanities while continuing her dance studies, primarily with Royal Academy of Dance instructors off campus, passing exams and becoming a full member of the Royal Academy (certificates signed by Margot Fonteyn).

She studied, choreographed, taught and danced with Riverside Ballet; she choreographed and danced in a UCR production of Dido and Aeneas; and she starred in Brecht’s “Der Jasager” – audience members said they had seen a performance at the Brecht Theater in East Germany but liked Shirley’s performance better.

Also while at UCR, Shirley was offered the lead role in a play by Anouilh, was hired by Tommy Rall to play the Bride in “Milk and Honey,” she sang in the UCR Choir, taught at the Olivewood/Chapman School, studied piano with Edit Jonas (playing Schubert four hands on the beautiful Boesendorfer).

She and Gary were unimpressed with hierarchy or social status, and became good friends with the UCR professors whom they often invited to dinner. Case in point, when Ossie (Oswald) Jonas, the world renowned musicologist and custodian of the Shenker collection, which he donated to the UCR Library, heard that the Sterlings had taken Jan Popper, head of the UCLA Opera Department, and his wife, to dinner, he quipped: “What did you have, Stuffed Poppers?”

In Riverside, the Sterlings had joined political marches and sit-ins during the 1960s, and Shirley continued her involvement with good causes for the rest of her life. She became a loving mother to our beautiful baby, and our small family moved from Riverside to Altadena, where she and I lived for the next 52 years.

On full scholarship, Shirley studied dance at both the Banff School of Fine Arts and at the RAD in Toronto, Canada, where she performed on tour in several Canadian Provinces.

Returning to the U.S., she studied with Stefan Wenta, and others. She opened the Sterling School of Classical Ballet and Dance Arts on North Lake Avenue in Pasadena where she was awarded by Mayor Bradley recognition as one of the Top 50 Notables in greater Los Angeles.

She established The Sterling Consort of musicians, singers and dancers, which performed in costume for many years at the Renaissance Pleasure Faire, at Caltech, for John Housman at Will Geer’s Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga, at the opening of the new Paseo in Pasadena, and many other venues throughout Southern California.

She studied a wide range of subjects at PCC, where she tutored students in English, and won two awards for her writing, publishing poetry in the Literary Magazine Inscape.

She sang for several years with the William Hall Chorale, and pestered him to go on tour.

She worked for years at the Folk Tree in Pasadena, where she was sought out by such clients as Helena Bonham Carter, Elmer Bernstein, and Bob Mackie.

She finished her Degree at UCLA with a major in World Arts and Cultures, and, with her mentor, Amy Catlin, became a force in the Cambodian community, and a supporter of the Indian Music Circle.

She studied with Peter Sellars (whom she made cry with her beautiful writing), and was hired by him as a Line Producer for a street dance survey production as part of the L.A. Festival. She managed a stage for the Festival of Masks.

She took part in a reading of The Odyssey at the Getty Villa where she made the director cry, and they cried together, then she shared water with the translator.

She was a published poet and wrote articles for the Pasadena Star News and other local newspapers, reviewing dance performances and writing a lengthy interview with Gerald Arpino of the Joffrey Ballet, reprinted because of importance and demand.

She was quoted in the newspaper for a moving speech she delivered in support of the Post Office. She worked with Ralph Nader on the Oaks Project; she made a connection with him because she had his mother’s cookbook.

She choreographed and performed with Theatre Americana in Altadena. She spent two glorious summers in Europe with friends and family. She took the Day of the Dead Tour in Mexico where she became good friends with Carolyn See (yes, the writer) and later with her daughter, Lisa See (yes, the writer).

She was always an outspoken supporter of KPFK Radio, which frequently plays the promo that she and Gary did upon request.

Shirley and Gary became Board Members of the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Coalition led by Jackie and David Jacobs, where Shirley served as Secretary and Co-Chair Committee Judge of student essay competitions.

She was a friend and supporter of Boys Republic, of the Altadena Library, Debbie at “Ms. Dragon Print & Copy” in Altadena, of Lori and Scott Webster of Hoopla! in Altadena, of Barbara Goldeen and John Selmer of Santa Fe Crafts in South Pasadena, of Mary and Patrick Gothard of the Altadena Community Garden and Farmers’ Market, McGinty’s in Altadena, of Everest Restaurant in Altadena (she loved their salads and Fish ‘n’ Chips), of Domenico’s Pizza (“the usual” chicken cacciatore with a side of ravioli half and half with meat sauce), Egg Roll Express (eggplant with pork), Gladstone’s Donuts (glazed, bear claws, and apple fritters), Centro Basco in Chino (the Boarders Table), Pinnacle Peak Steak House (rib eye medium rare), Tommy’s (chili tamale, extra chili), Neptune’s Net (scallops and chips), Papa Cristos (a family friend, 3-lamb-chop plate, grilled eggplant), Phillippe’s (lamb dip with bleu cheese), Twohey’s (hot fudge sundae, bittersweet), Burrito Express (carnitas with green sauce)…

She had many friends around the country including New York Judy Epstein, Dee Dee Chavira and Tim Pleasant in Palm Springs, Irene and Dušan Petrač in Linda Vista, Lionel and Eetla Ein-Soracco of Altadena and then Santa Fe, Joan Reid of Pasadena, David and Jackie Jacobs of Altadena and MLK, Lydia and Wolfgang Knauss of Altadena, Fred and Connie Shair of Altadena, Victor Solis of L.A., Dana Josephson of England, Dr. Grace Fu of Kaiser Pasadena, Carl and Carol Selkin of Pasadena, Jessica Valentine of Pasadena, Linda Jacques and Steve Monaci of San Gabriel, Marie-Louise Guillmanne of Pasadena, Richard Hamilton of Pasadena Laemmle Theater, Mike Kefalas, Danny and the staff at JK Volvo, Tina Robinette of Pasadena, Kathy Oshima of Altadena, Igor Emri of Slovenia, Samella Yarbrough of Pasadena, Amani Gardner of Pasadena, Elizabeth Wu of Altadena, Inesita the Great Flamenco Dancer of Los Angeles, Helen Snyder of Sedona, David Wilcox of Long Beach, Manette and Bobby Whitfield of Altadena, Lisa and Eric Watts of Pasadena, Bill and Marie Hyland of Pasadena, Roger Elliott of Monrovia, Roger Cude of Temecula, Wayne Burton of Altadena, Amy Catlin of Van Nuys, Dominique Bailey of Sierra Madre, and too many more to mention.

She touched many lives.

She made our lives better.